B​-​Side Boy vs VHS Girl

by B-Side Boy

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B-Side Boy's 3rd album this year and possibly the most cohesive of the bunch!


released December 6, 2015

Produced and Performed by B-Side Boy
Recorded at the Canteen from July-November 2015
All songs by Gary Ward, except 'No Pressure' which was by Gary Ward and Colin Syme



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Chairman Cow Glasgow, UK

Good old fashioned homemade Rock music made primarily because I have to or my brain will explode. I have gone by many names over the years and most of them can be found here in one handy location.

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Track Name: Learning To Walk Away
Learning to Walk Away

In the course of trying to forget
Overcoming mountains of regret
You could say my fears are overfed
Over-thinking every word I said

I lose myself somewhere out there
I lose myself somewhere

Finding it much harder to resist
Am I admiring a flower or a fist?
While I practice taking a deep breath
I notice I have a little patience left

I lose myself – not for the first time
I amuse myself – someone has to

As seasons fade
Ignore decisions I have made
Don’t even bother to pour scorn,
The montage in my head
Of possibilities and past regrets
Overshadows everything I’ve done

You’re getting easier to ignore
Although that’s what I told myself before
Turning on my heel does not feel right – at first
I feel improved when you are out of sight

I lose myself – find something else
I lose myself somewhere
Track Name: Unloved

It’s so ridiculous to think you’re unloved
Or that you just don’t matter that much
It’s hard to put these feelings into perspective
You try oh you try
But you don’t get anywhere

It’s so ridiculous to think you’re unloved
But is the problem in your mind or is it in your blood?
Is it here – here my love?

The fear it falls just like the rain
Distorted tears blind me again
Extended hands don’t mean you any harm
Don’t sound the alarm

It’s so ridiculous to think you’re unloved
It’s sad you shudder at the thought of my touch
It’s hard to put these feelings into perspective
You try oh you try
But you don’t get anywhere

Is it here – here my love?
Track Name: Things I've Never Done In The Rain
Things I’ve never done in the Rain

I’ve made a scene I’ve gone too far
I’ve shook my head in disapproval a few times
I took my shoes off in despair
Looking back I see it wasn’t justified

I’ve walked these streets for hours and hours
Without a point of destination in my mind
And many other things as well
It’s even possible that I have sung and cried
But as for things I’ve never done
Never done in the rain

I danced to the music in my head
I’ve shared secrets – hopefully they’ll stay that way
Threw my umbrella in the bin
Because it wasn’t doing its job properly

Sometimes I laugh in the face of health and safety
Strange that I never feel ashamed

Faded like a half-remembered dream
Hid somewhere till everyone forgot my name
Relieved myself into the sea
Wrote bad poetry but kept it anyway
But as for things I’ve never done
Never done in the rain
Track Name: It's Been A Shit Year
It’s been a Shit Year

It’s fair to say it’s been a shit year
Garden’s overgrown and I feel so entangled
It’s fair to say it’s been a shit year
Creative drought – can’t even claim I’m drowning

It’s fair to say it’s been a shit year
Forgotten why I cared or if I ever knew
It’s fair to say it’s been a shit year
Absence of heart – definitely much colder

Rebelling against the sun is fine
Someone’s got to keep that bastard in line
I cross the days off far too fast
Where do they go?

It’s fair to say that I feel cheated
The roots of this problem burrow ever deeper
It’s fair to say it’s been a shit year
There’s nothing I can do except keep on smiling

Such a dramatic change
I never knew before
I try my best to go along,
So very strange
And suddenly I fall
Because I don’t like it it feels wrong

Kicking against the norm is normal
As long as you wear something informal
The straws you clutch at crumble to pieces
In your hand
Track Name: Nasty Bone
Nasty Bone

She waits for approval
Forcing your hand
I don’t understand you sometimes,
The quest for inhibitions
Found nothing obscene
I’ve lost the meaning somehow

Moonwalk out of my day
And that’s my favourite way
To remember you
And the laughter dies down
Everyone is too busy to notice
Except me

She promises nothing
Not a nasty bone
In her supple body,
But memory is selective
Blows hot and cold
And she is no exception

How often do we speak?
A handful of times of week
Sometimes less
The common ground shakes
And the segments separate
To smaller islands

You can sigh all you like
You can even roll your eyes
You can even make me cry

She waits for an answer
But I don’t know
She’ll have to keep on waiting
Track Name: I Don't Want To Shoot The Breeze
I Don’t Want To Shoot the Breeze

I accept your offer of friendship baby
But we must discuss the terms
Though I’m not looking for a good time maybe
I got a little time to burn
So frustrating – so frustrating on your own
Maybe it’s a blessing being the only dog without a bone

Is this the only time you have now baby?
You used to be so unconcerned
I’ve never been quick on the uptake maybe
It’s something I had better learn
So mistaken – so mistaken it’s a crime
Well maybe that’s a mountain the two of us will never have to climb

I don’t want to shoot the breeze
It’s done nothing to me
I don’t want to shoot the breeze
As far as I can see
Track Name: Hooray For Everything You Never Wanted
Hooray for Everything You Never Wanted

When you’re cold and pretend not to know it
When you’re sad and you don’t want to show it
When you’re happy and you don’t want to lose it
Indecisive and don’t want to choose it
When you’re scared and you just won’t admit it
Frustrated but can’t bear to hit it
Feeling small and you can’t rise above it
Empty heart but you can’t stand to love it

You get comfortable
That’s perfectly normal
You grow attached to familiar ideas
That’s perfectly natural

When you start and you just can’t stop it
You’ve got an axe and you can’t bear to chop it
You’ve got something and you don’t know what is it
Run a bit faster cause you don’t want to miss it
When you swear but you don’t want to bleep it
Or when you’re tired but you don’t want to sleep it
You’re offended and you can’t deny it
You’ve got the money but you just don’t buy it

If you were a bee I bet you’d sting it
If you had a bell I bet you wouldn’t ring it
If you had a song you wouldn’t know how to sing it
You don’t have the rhythm so how can you swing it?
You’ve got an answer even though I ain’t asked it
If you had a cat you’d let it out of the basket
If you had a mind I bet you wouldn’t think it
Don’t get on a boat cause chances are you’d sink it

You’ve got a nose but you don’t want to smell it
You’ve got a secret but you’re not going to tell it
You’ve got a cheek but you’re not going to turn it
You want my respect but you don’t want to earn it
You’ve got a tear but you don’t want to cry it
You’re out of shape but you can’t bear to diet
Found a mountain but you don’t want to climb it
Got some words but you don’t want to rhyme it

I love your door – I adore it
I open it slightly – I ajar it
I love you ladder – I rung it
I didn’t bring it here my dear I brung it
Track Name: Shooby Don't
Shooby Don’t

I was born inside a parody
I was born in someone else’s joke
With no concept of permanence
I was doomed before I even spoke
My first steps were unspectacular
But at least they didn’t end in a fall
I stomp around unaided now
Hindered only by feeling so small

You were made inside a mystery
Wrapped tightly in an enigma
And my feeble attempts to understand
Well they didn’t get me very far
Your manner is quite peculiar
Equally attracts and it repels
I’d like to know what you’re really thinking of
But I’m certain you will never tell

Shooby do
Shooby don’t
Track Name: Lost A Friend
Lost a Friend

Lost a friend today
Suddenly I see less clearer
Was it something I said?
To make you a lot less nearer

Lost a friend today
No one could replace her
Though if we should meet again
I’m not sure if I could face her

Who’s next on the list?
And what will I do that time?
If I do anything at all
It may not even be my fault
I’m pretty sure it isn’t
But I may never know
And that’s what makes it hard to take

Lost a friend today
Or is it in my head?
Much to my dismay
The neuroses have been fed

Lost a friend today
Lost a friend today
Track Name: My Heart Song
My Heart Song

I could have been someone
Someone like you
I could have loved someone
It’s something to do

My heart sings of stupid things
Opens his mouth as he spreads his wings

Every chamber rings
With impish glee
Every beat he keeps
Helps me believe

My heart laughs itself in half
Usually at something daft
Whether he’s good or bad I’m unsure
I know that without him I’d be pretty poor

If I had spent some time
I could have understood
Illuminate the dark
In the proverbial wood

My heart cries but has no eyes
The tears you’ll have to visualise
Every heart must sometimes weep
I rock mine gently off to sleep
Track Name: No Pressure
No Pressure

Awaken in darkness – impossible dreams
Think you’re in madness without the screams
But you never really worry like I tend to really worry
Pull apart a situation try to put it back together again

Have you posted the letter – have you scrapped that idea?
Does it make you feel better to face your fear?
Do you know there is no difference twixt performance and catharsis?
It all makes me really nervous makes me feel I can’t be arsed with this

Are fantasy and reality becoming blurred?
I feel the weight of my history and it fucking hurts
The precious gift that a song can bring pulls me apart
An honest truth or a misery – no finer art
No pressure no pressure no pressure no pressure
No pressure no pressure no pressure no pressure

Is this black cloud hanging over me or just passing through?
Maybe I’m its stopover on the way to rain on you
I’m doing fine thanks for not asking – fine as can be
Fighting alone must look pretty strange – it’s normal to me
No pressure no pressure no pressure no pressure
No pressure no pressure no pressure no pressure

Free from distraction – the ultimate goal
You shouldn’t be bothered but no one could know
But you never really worry like I tend to really worry
Pull apart a situation try to put it back together again