Learning to Walk Away In the course of trying to forget Overcoming mountains of regret You could say my fears are overfed Over-thinking every word I said I lose myself somewhere out there I lose myself somewhere Finding it much harder to resist Am I admiring a flower or a fist? While I practice taking a deep breath I notice I have a little patience left I lose myself – not for the first time I amuse myself – someone has to As seasons fade Ignore decisions I have made Don’t even bother to pour scorn, The montage in my head Of possibilities and past regrets Overshadows everything I’ve done You’re getting easier to ignore Although that’s what I told myself before Turning on my heel does not feel right – at first I feel improved when you are out of sight I lose myself – find something else I lose myself somewhere

Unloved It’s so ridiculous to think you’re unloved Or that you just don’t matter that much It’s hard to put these feelings into perspective You try oh you try But you don’t get anywhere It’s so ridiculous to think you’re unloved But is the problem in your mind or is it in your blood? Is it here – here my love? The fear it falls just like the rain Distorted tears blind me again Extended hands don’t mean you any harm Don’t sound the alarm It’s so ridiculous to think you’re unloved It’s sad you shudder at the thought of my touch It’s hard to put these feelings into perspective You try oh you try But you don’t get anywhere Is it here – here my love?

Things I’ve never done in the Rain I’ve made a scene I’ve gone too far I’ve shook my head in disapproval a few times I took my shoes off in despair Looking back I see it wasn’t justified I’ve walked these streets for hours and hours Without a point of destination in my mind And many other things as well It’s even possible that I have sung and cried But as for things I’ve never done Never done in the rain I danced to the music in my head I’ve shared secrets – hopefully they’ll stay that way Threw my umbrella in the bin Because it wasn’t doing its job properly Sometimes I laugh in the face of health and safety Strange that I never feel ashamed Faded like a half-remembered dream Hid somewhere till everyone forgot my name Relieved myself into the sea Wrote bad poetry but kept it anyway But as for things I’ve never done Never done in the rain

It’s been a Shit Year It’s fair to say it’s been a shit year Garden’s overgrown and I feel so entangled It’s fair to say it’s been a shit year Creative drought – can’t even claim I’m drowning It’s fair to say it’s been a shit year Forgotten why I cared or if I ever knew It’s fair to say it’s been a shit year Absence of heart – definitely much colder Rebelling against the sun is fine Someone’s got to keep that bastard in line I cross the days off far too fast Where do they go? It’s fair to say that I feel cheated The roots of this problem burrow ever deeper It’s fair to say it’s been a shit year There’s nothing I can do except keep on smiling Such a dramatic change I never knew before I try my best to go along, So very strange And suddenly I fall Because I don’t like it it feels wrong Kicking against the norm is normal As long as you wear something informal The straws you clutch at crumble to pieces In your hand

Nasty Bone She waits for approval Forcing your hand I don’t understand you sometimes, The quest for inhibitions Found nothing obscene I’ve lost the meaning somehow Moonwalk out of my day And that’s my favourite way To remember you And the laughter dies down Everyone is too busy to notice Except me She promises nothing Not a nasty bone In her supple body, But memory is selective Blows hot and cold And she is no exception How often do we speak? A handful of times of week Sometimes less The common ground shakes And the segments separate To smaller islands You can sigh all you like You can even roll your eyes You can even make me cry She waits for an answer But I don’t know She’ll have to keep on waiting

I Don’t Want To Shoot the Breeze I accept your offer of friendship baby But we must discuss the terms Though I’m not looking for a good time maybe I got a little time to burn So frustrating – so frustrating on your own Maybe it’s a blessing being the only dog without a bone Is this the only time you have now baby? You used to be so unconcerned I’ve never been quick on the uptake maybe It’s something I had better learn So mistaken – so mistaken it’s a crime Well maybe that’s a mountain the two of us will never have to climb I don’t want to shoot the breeze It’s done nothing to me I don’t want to shoot the breeze As far as I can see

Hooray for Everything You Never Wanted When you’re cold and pretend not to know it When you’re sad and you don’t want to show it When you’re happy and you don’t want to lose it Indecisive and don’t want to choose it When you’re scared and you just won’t admit it Frustrated but can’t bear to hit it Feeling small and you can’t rise above it Empty heart but you can’t stand to love it You get comfortable That’s perfectly normal You grow attached to familiar ideas That’s perfectly natural When you start and you just can’t stop it You’ve got an axe and you can’t bear to chop it You’ve got something and you don’t know what is it Run a bit faster cause you don’t want to miss it When you swear but you don’t want to bleep it Or when you’re tired but you don’t want to sleep it You’re offended and you can’t deny it You’ve got the money but you just don’t buy it If you were a bee I bet you’d sting it If you had a bell I bet you wouldn’t ring it If you had a song you wouldn’t know how to sing it You don’t have the rhythm so how can you swing it? You’ve got an answer even though I ain’t asked it If you had a cat you’d let it out of the basket If you had a mind I bet you wouldn’t think it Don’t get on a boat cause chances are you’d sink it You’ve got a nose but you don’t want to smell it You’ve got a secret but you’re not going to tell it You’ve got a cheek but you’re not going to turn it You want my respect but you don’t want to earn it You’ve got a tear but you don’t want to cry it You’re out of shape but you can’t bear to diet Found a mountain but you don’t want to climb it Got some words but you don’t want to rhyme it I love your door – I adore it I open it slightly – I ajar it I love you ladder – I rung it I didn’t bring it here my dear I brung it

Shooby Don’t I was born inside a parody I was born in someone else’s joke With no concept of permanence I was doomed before I even spoke My first steps were unspectacular But at least they didn’t end in a fall I stomp around unaided now Hindered only by feeling so small You were made inside a mystery Wrapped tightly in an enigma And my feeble attempts to understand Well they didn’t get me very far Your manner is quite peculiar Equally attracts and it repels I’d like to know what you’re really thinking of But I’m certain you will never tell Shooby do Shooby don’t

Lost a Friend Lost a friend today Suddenly I see less clearer Was it something I said? To make you a lot less nearer Lost a friend today No one could replace her Though if we should meet again I’m not sure if I could face her Who’s next on the list? And what will I do that time? If I do anything at all It may not even be my fault I’m pretty sure it isn’t But I may never know And that’s what makes it hard to take Lost a friend today Or is it in my head? Much to my dismay The neuroses have been fed Lost a friend today Lost a friend today

My Heart Song I could have been someone Someone like you I could have loved someone It’s something to do My heart sings of stupid things Opens his mouth as he spreads his wings Every chamber rings With impish glee Every beat he keeps Helps me believe My heart laughs itself in half Usually at something daft Whether he’s good or bad I’m unsure I know that without him I’d be pretty poor If I had spent some time I could have understood Illuminate the dark In the proverbial wood My heart cries but has no eyes The tears you’ll have to visualise Every heart must sometimes weep I rock mine gently off to sleep

No Pressure Awaken in darkness – impossible dreams Think you’re in madness without the screams But you never really worry like I tend to really worry Pull apart a situation try to put it back together again Have you posted the letter – have you scrapped that idea? Does it make you feel better to face your fear? Do you know there is no difference twixt performance and catharsis? It all makes me really nervous makes me feel I can’t be arsed with this Are fantasy and reality becoming blurred? I feel the weight of my history and it fucking hurts The precious gift that a song can bring pulls me apart An honest truth or a misery – no finer art No pressure no pressure no pressure no pressure No pressure no pressure no pressure no pressure Is this black cloud hanging over me or just passing through? Maybe I’m its stopover on the way to rain on you I’m doing fine thanks for not asking – fine as can be Fighting alone must look pretty strange – it’s normal to me No pressure no pressure no pressure no pressure No pressure no pressure no pressure no pressure Free from distraction – the ultimate goal You shouldn’t be bothered but no one could know But you never really worry like I tend to really worry Pull apart a situation try to put it back together again